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What
is Realism? Realists view themselves, other people and situations as they really are, not as they'd like them to be. Realism enables a person to make an accurate assessment which leads to appropriate action. The decision might be to do nothing; it might be to take a bold step forward. Realism generates multiple options for action. Spiritual Realists understand that there is more to a situation or person than what can be perceived by the five senses. They have a deep inner conviction of the reality of the unseen realm--the sphere of action under the control of God where spiritual forces wage spiritual battles which affect our lives. When Moses saw two Hebrew slaves fighting he said to the one he perceived as the instigator, "Why are you striking your companion?" The instigator replied, "Who made you a prince or a judge over us?" (Exodus 2:14) Immediately, Moses was afraid. He didn't challenge the accusation. Instead, he left the scene. The next day he learned that Pharaoh had his troops out looking for him to arrest him for the murder of an Egyptian he had killed. Moses assessed his situation realistically. He had no authority to command the Jews and couldn't hope to avoid arrest, and probable execution, by Pharaoh. Moses had killed the Egyptian with unrestrained passion but a day later he had regained his composure. Lack of judgment was replaced by profound realism. He accurately assessed his situation and made the right decision to leave Egypt immediately for the safety of the desert wilderness of Midian. Realism for situations allows a person to interpret facts objectively as Moses did. It gauges the effect of the feelings and actions of people on specific situations. And sometimes it requires a prince trained in the protocol of a palace to face realism and tend sheep on the back side of a desert until it's time to be summoned into service. Personal
Realism One of the first things Moses did when he arrived in Midian was to offer assistance to the seven daughters of a priest named Jethro. In the course of his sojourning there he married Zipporah, one of Jethro's daughters. They had a son whom Moses named Gershon--Hebrew for "stranger" or "sojourner." As a reason for the name Moses explained, "I have been a sojourner in a foreign land" (Exodus 2:22). Personal realism means that, like Moses, you understand yourself. Moses' Jewish identity was in an embryonic stage yet instinctively he knew that he didn't belong in Midian. He never forgot his responsibility toward his people in Egypt. He realized that eventually, somehow, he would leave Midian to rejoin his people. "Gershon" became a personal reminder that his life in Midian was to be only a temporary sojourn. Understanding Realism A subtitle for this commandment--"thou shalt understand the true nature of any situation or person"--unequivocally states my belief that there is only one reality in any situation. Before you say, "I don't agree with him," let me explain what I mean. No one can deny that people often see the same situation quite differently. How is this possible if what I say is true? I've thought of three reasons for this, though I'm sure there are more: First, though there is only one reality, it's perceived through human eyes which can filter out or even blind us to important intellectual, emotional, and spiritual factors; second, we may never know the true reality of a situation until we're in heaven with the Lord; third, sometimes knowledge is withheld from an individual because God wants to teach them something or so that they'll combine with others to accomplish the work of the Lord--each supplying a necessary piece that the others can't. Over the years I've come to recognize that the development of mature (situational, personal, and spiritual) realism is vitally important for all believers because it's crucial for spiritual growth. Realism enables the believer to make an accurate assessment which leads to appropriate action. The decision might be to do nothing; it might be to take a bold step forward. God's heart is for His kingdom to move forward--to impact lives and transform us more and more into His image. Without mature realism the ministry of God on earth is seriously hindered. Because it's such a powerful force for good, realism in the body of Messiah is continually under attack from the Enemy. I sense that before we go on, we need to pray about this. Would you pray together with me:
Four Principles
for Growth To help you understand realism, I've identified four principles for its growth. We'll use the gospel parable of the sower as a framework for understanding these realism principles. As you study, consider each of them as progressive stages that build upon each other. As each layer of bricks in a house's foundation builds upon the strength of the layer beneath it, likewise realism grows stage by stage until it's complete and mature. 1. Beyond
the Five Senses
Later on in this passage this part of the parable is explained: One can't receive salvation unless the Word of God is taken beyond the stage of just hearing it. The first stage of salvation is to take into one's soul the spiritual words of the Scripture. This act of "taking in" is what I call perceiving. You've all heard the expression, "In one ear and out the other." That's hearing without perceiving. Likewise, the first stage of mature realism can't happen unless we not only sense the things going on around us but, more importantly, take them in for further consideration. 2. Get a
Knowledge and Experience Base
Here the people described "have no root in themselves." We're told that when hard times come they fall away because they're without deep roots (Mk. 4: 15:17). Likewise, without a realism that has the strong roots of knowledge anchored in the deep soil of personal experience, I don't think it's possible to stand firm in the face of unfavorable circumstances. This next stage of realism does three things: gets the facts; studies them; and either calls upon past experience or gets the help of someone knowledgeable in the area. 3. Understanding
Others and Developing Personal Maturity
The "thorns" are the "cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desire for other things" (Mk. 4:19). I believe there's a common thread to the person described here--they're concerned with self to the exclusion of anything else. These are people who are controlled by their emotional reaction to cares (problems) and consumed by their desire for money or material things. Lacking a personal maturity, their internal sense of themselves depends upon how others see them and that, they believe, is determined by what they possess. This dependence upon obtaining the favorable opinion of others makes realism and spiritual growth just about impossible. I've seldom seen such a person be able to realistically assess others since their self-absorption is all encompassing. It seldom leaves much room for a careful consideration of the feelings, opinions, and interests of other people. While most of us aren't affected to the degree that is seen in the parable, all of us need to continually do spiritual work in this area. Acquiring maturity in this stage of realism depends upon the development of godly values that reflect His standard for our lives. I've found that as we allow the Holy Spirit to convict us of sin in these areas, not only does our godly character grow, but realism for self and others naturally follows. 4. The Spiritual
Side of Things
This seed symbolizes people who hear God's word, accept it, and bear fruit in His kingdom (Mk.4:20). Fully mature realism understands the spiritual nature of life--that decisions must not neglect the spiritual realms of prayer, faith, the Word of God, godly counsel, spiritual warfare, and walking in God's will. Though from the world's standpoint spiritual considerations are foolishness, I've found them of upmost importance in making good decisions. Even if something seems to have little to do with your spiritual life, take time out to seek the Lord. Scripture tells us that "he who makes haste with his feet errs" (Prov. 19:2, NAS). Save yourself lots of grief by refusing to make a decision or to take an action until you sense the Lord's blessing upon it. This type of mature realism can be gained only by honest, personal reflection directed by the Holy Spirit and supplemented by objective input. Personal reflection means spending time alone with God to ponder your actions and motivations. Objective input can come from a friend, a loved one, or a counselor. Why are these both necessary? The answer comes from the Scripture:
This Scripture implies that the human heart cannot truly know all that's motivating it without the help of trusted counselors who rely upon the Spirit of God to help them plumb the depths of a situation. While it's true that both our minds and thoughts can be renewed and transformed by His Spirit (Rom. 12:1-2), our inner core or nefesh (soul) always has the potential to be deceived. The Book of Proverbs teaches that "as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another," and "where there is no guidance, the people fall; but in abundance of counselors there is victory." Three Self-Deceptions that Block Realism 1. Pride Most people consider pride, defined as "the over-rating of personal qualities," to be a positive emotion, a "good feeling" about an achievement or personal attribute. But pride can set up barriers to realism because those who have it think they are aware of things when they are not. This self-deception of pride can be compared to a person looking through binoculars. Images straight ahead are magnified while surroundings are diminished. A pair of binoculars gives you tunnel vision. If a situation demands that the whole picture be seen, important information can be missed. Pride adds another deadly factor to this example. Prideful people don't know they're using binoculars, blocking an accurate view of things without which realism is impossible. A cousin to this type of pride is a conscious or subconscious ignoring or disbelieving of the spiritual aspects of a situation. Scripture, without intending any malice or being derogatory, has a name for a person who does this--a fool. "The fool has said in his heart, There is no God" (Ps. 14:1). The fool, one who denies that divine intervention in earthly matters is possible, usually has an intense hatred toward "wisdom and understanding" that takes into account the spiritual side of things. The fool hates this because if he were to give consideration to the spiritual realm, it would disaffirm his way of viewing life. It's an affront to the fool's prideful self-conception of being right. Believing in God and His intervention in the affairs of men says loudly to the fool, "You're not all right. You are a fool for saying that there is no God or that He has no power to change this situation." If you press the reality of the spiritual side of the situation with a fool, he'll usually become enraged, saying to himself, or worse yet to others, "Who do you think you are, saying that I'm not ok? What makes you think you know more than me?" And perhaps by the world's standards, the fool is right. He may be smarter than you, more successful, wealthier, or have more power. If we're judging by external standards, he may appear to be your superior. Yet don't let the fool annoy you. He'll often try to turn the tables of assessment over and dismiss you as the fool for believing in God. Another aspect of pride is the attitude that says, "I will never accept anything from anyone." The nature of the kingdom of God on earth is that He uses people working together to fulfill His purposes. It's my conviction that there can be no "lone rangers" in the kingdom of God. For us independent types, this means that at times God wants us to accept help from others. There's another mystery of the spiritual realm operating on this one: The more we ask for help from others, the more we're spiritually transformed by the experience and the closer we get to apprehending the heart of God about earthly matters. 2. Unrestrained
Emotions Here there is a distorted mental synthesis of a problem because of an improper balance between reason and emotion. While thinking all aspects are being assessed realistically, accurate insight is lost because of interfering emotions. Rather than lacking proper information, assessment, or insight, their problem is self. Sadly, nothing except the recognition that one is not emotionally neutral can fix things. If we think of Moses, this will become clearer. Moses' reaction to the Egyptian's treatment of the Hebrew slave was emotional. At the moment, he was unable to be realistic about his situation. His emotions caused a self-deception and he acted, killing the Egyptian. The next day his realistic side kicked in and he was able to get more emotionally neutral, enabling him to flee to Midian. 3. Over-Spiritualizing Over-spiritualizing may overtake even the strongest of believers. Here a person firmly believes that he's heard from the Almighty on a particular issue and nothing can be said that might dissuade him. How is this different from "standing in faith" for something that's yet to happen? It has to do with the attitude of the person: Do they have a humble spirit? Are they teachable? Has the issue become so polarized that they have separated themselves from the body of Messiah? Sometimes, the "fruit" of over-spiritualizing is conflict--the lack of peace between brothers and sisters in the Lord. If this isn't stopped, it can degenerate into accusations such as: "I'm standing on the Word of God. Where is your faith in this matter?" or "You're being used of the Enemy to try to undermine my faith?" If you've ever experienced this type of exchange, it's extremely unpleasant. If the person's position is so entrenched that they'll make statements like this, then perhaps it's best to pull back and lovingly pray that God would pour out His mercy upon the situation. A less extreme form of over-spiritualizing is inaction coming from one's inability to perceive that God has asked them to change directions. I'll share with you my own experience in this and a few lessons that I learned through it: Phase 1: A
Supernatural Meeting? After writing the first draft of this book, I was led to contact a believing literary agent in what seemed to be a supernatural way. He read the draft and was very encouraging, saying that he'd work on finding a publisher for it. I was overjoyed and felt that I was in good hands. I tried to be prudent in the matter and even traveled to his office for a personal meeting to make sure I hadn't made a mistake. After a few months passed without hearing from him, I phoned. This started a series of extremely frustrating exchanges. It usually took about a month to finally connect on the phone. He was always extremely apologetic for the delay and assured me that he was continuing to work on the project. Yet this didn't make me feel any better. I knew that something was wrong, yet I couldn't clearly discern what it was. Phase 2: Spiritual
Warfare After many months I discussed the situation with a friend whose spiritual insight I greatly valued. We both sensed that the delay was a spiritual battle--specifically that the procrastination seemed to extend beyond the normal. This insight charged me up spiritually. I sought the Lord and even received prophetic direction about the spiritual strongholds standing against the publication of this book. I knew what to do: Fight the battle in prayer by coming against the spiritual forces that were causing the procrastination. Yet after several months of "spiritual warfare" nothing much had changed. Phase 3: God
Shows Another Way While walking on the beach during a summer vacation at the Jersey shore, I realized that I'd neglected one of the most basic principles--seeking the counsel of one in spiritual authority over me. It's important for me to be honest with you about my actions. The thing that drove me to counsel was frustration. I was at my wit's end, not knowing what to do. So I asked for help from my friend and congregational leader, Rabbi David Chernoff. During our meeting together he said something simple, yet to me very profound, "If it's not working out then change something." He then went on to share some of his experiences in the ministry. Sometimes he'd get a clear leading from the Lord to start a new project, figuring God intended to bring the congregation into a new place spiritually. On several occasions, after an initial positive response from the congregation, things seemed to peter out. After this happened a few times, Rabbi Chernoff came to realize the need to return to prayer to examine what went wrong. And here's what he told me: "Sure there are times when the battle is spiritual. That's when we war against principalities through prayer and fasting," he said. "Yet there are other times when it's a simple matter of moving on in a new way. A time when a new wineskin is needed." Phase 4: Going
For It! This is exactly what I needed. I had the agent return my manuscript and began to work on it again. As I re-wrote the book, it became clear that its content had to radically change. I was a different person spiritually from the one who wrote the first manuscript. I had a deep conviction that the Lord had other plans for it than what I had originally conceived it to be. Without the experience of having the book linger for months with the agent, I wouldn't have re-written it. The "procrastination" provided the Holy Spirit the room to teach me new spiritual lessons unrelated to the book which greatly affected its content. Thoughts
to Ponder About Realism Moses naturally possessed empathy and realism but you might not. Perhaps, like Moses, you need to go to "Midian," your place of preparation. Take time to understand how others think. I've found that reading history is an excellent way to promote a more realistic view about life. It will teach you that mankind hasn't changed much since the beginning of time. Somewhere, sometime in the past, someone has been through what you are now experiencing. History helps us understand timing--that certain circumstances or situations require something new or different that can't occur until the time is right. For some of you, though it might be difficult, admit that you have pride. Others need to recognize their unhealthy emotional state. Despite it sometimes being very painful, facing reality is ultimately liberating. Out of this experience will come new freedom. Allow for honest differences between people. It's rare to find people who immediately see things in the same way. Give them time to digest what's happening. People typically think that their position or viewpoint is the right one. If people think you honestly understand their point of view, you're on the way to developing a mutual understanding. There's no better way to do this than to imagine yourself in the other person's shoes. Don't forget: while empathy develops the emotions and realism develops the intellect, neither develops your spirit. For this you've got to continue on in your journey. So, turn the page and learn more from Moses concerning his preparation in wilderness of Midian.
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